Check on Her

Have you called her? Your girlfriend who is always working hard. She barely puts her feet up before she is rushing off to start a new house project or rescue a relative from the latest crisis. A list of her club memberships and affiliations would fill a page - single-spaced, size 12 font. Adventures with her kids are endless, and she is launching a new product line for her business. Since she is the most reliable, and knowledgeable, her colleagues at her 9 to 5 always volunteer her for the latest project at work, and she rarely says no because she'd never pass up a chance to build her resume. Sound familiar?


It is probable that your friend needs someone to tell her to take a break. Self-care. It might sound cliche by now; it is definitely trending. However,"self-care" is not just a buzz word; it is a necessary respite in which one intentionally creates the space and opportunity to do activities (or not do activities) that recharge, rejuvenate, and renew. You fulfill promise to pour into yourself.


Imagine trying to put makeup on a face that has all of the dirt, oil and makeup on it from the day before. You literally would be caking on a layer of cosmetics, a facade that will crack and glisten in all of the wrong ways. It might have to be applied a little thicker to ensure that it covers everything that looks bad. In the end, you won't be able to conceal the truth.Your face is dirty, and even the best products won't hide true fatigue. It will show up in your mood, how you treat people, and how you execute your work.


Have you ever had a really good facial? I have. My skin felt so soft and supple. It was like my pores opened to soak up fresher air, and I was inspired to breathe deeply. This is the rejuvenation that I am striving for everyday. The kind of recharging that isn't playing catch up for lost time or missed sleep. I refuse to let myself fade to the background anymore because I realize that if I don't renew each day in some way, I am not presenting my best self to the world.


Mental health issues are aggravated by the stress and anxiety that build up when we don't just pause, take inventory, and rearrange to make room for ourselves. I will save the deep dive into mental wellness for another post, but of course, you should have spiritual guidance, strategies, a therapist, or some things in place to cope with life's daily challenges. Let's teach our girls to not just collide head first into issues expecting their heads to withstand the blunt force trauma.


I am so thankful that I have learned lessons along the way.


1) Often, when I say I am okay, I am not okay. This is just a coping mechanism or time for me to process why I am not okay. Now more than before, I let my true feelings be known.


2) Sometimes, I literally need to fall off the radar for a while to reset.


3) I love working hard, but when I am done, I am done. Don't ask me for anything. You won't find me.


4) I am only as resilient as my faith in God.


5) Getting my toes and eyebrows done will almost instantly make me feel better.


6) Helping others rejuvenates me until I finally crash, so as a giver, servant, nurturer type, I have to sit down somewhere.


7) I am sometimes my own worst enemy when in comes to relaxing because there is always something else I "need" to get done.


8) I don't listen all the time, so I might need to be told multiple times by more than one person to get some rest.


Ladies...Wouldn't it be nice if we checked on each other more often? Be honest with your friends and acquaintances.

We should write a list of at least five women who overwork, over commit, or just don't rest. Let's be our sisters' keepers. Check on her. #checkonher #girlsunited

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